Offensive Names Abound

The recent post about White settlement changing their name because the, "White" part might be offensive got me to pondering. So I took a look at the names of cities in the metroplex. What I found was shocking. Offensive names seem to abound.

The following names are blatantly sexist and will have to be changed. I've helpfully offered more acceptable names:

Addison -- Addichild
Everman -- Everperson
Mansfield -- Personsfield

There are other sexist names that are not as easy to fix. These cities bear a proper name. That leaves people of a different gender feeling left out. In the name of inclusiveness, the citizens of these cities will have to come up with gender neutral names:

Allen; Aubrey; Barry; Celeste; Celina; Glenn Heights; Glen Rose; Heath; Josephine; Joshua; Justin; Melissa; Stephenville.

If those cities don't want to come up with new gender neutral names, they could alternate between masculine and feminine names each year so that no gender feels left out. For example, the City of Josephine could be called the City of Joseph every other year.

The following cities will have to adopt new, more ethnically sensitive and culturally aware names:

Caddo Mills. It is offensive to members of the Caddo tribe to have their name trivialized by plastering it on police cars and water towers. I suggest the more acceptable, "Native American Mills" as a compromise.


Chico. This is Spanish for, "boy" and is sometimes used in a derogatory way towards hispanics. The residents of this town are free to use the more deferential "Caballero", which means "gentleman", or they can come up with their own. Provided of course, that they clear any new name with the League of United Latin American Citizens.

Fort Worth - The word "Fort" is overly militaristic and is too divisive in a time when we should be trying to bring people together not divide them. I suggest the more soothing, "Non-Agression Bluff".

Godley -- Obviously offensive to atheists and agnostics, I can't imagine why the ACLU hasn't sued them yet.

Saint Paul -- Quite possibly the most offensive name in the entire metroplex. Not only is the town named after a man, it's named after a Christian Man. 'Nuff said.

I did want to acknowledge one city that is really ahead of the pack in adopting a more politically correct name. The City of Greenville. Now tell me, what card carrying member of the Sierra Club wouldn't want to live there?

If I've overlooked any other racially insensitive, offensive, divisive, or culturally biased names, please let me know.